When life gives you lemons, cut them in half then apply to your armpits to neutralize the sweat.
I experience the most random situations; as a result, I can’t help but use them as a time of reflection. Most recently, an eczema outbreak that covered my neck, chest, and armpits. Like, who gets an outbreak there?
Unfortunately, the area started to flare and became super itchy so to prevent from scratching in front of my colleagues and possibly being reported to human resources, I scheduled a doctor’s appointment.
After a quick visit, I was prescribed three medications then got the worst news of my adult life. Brace yourselves. I could not use deodorant for a week! Living in one of the hottest and humid locations on earth? The neighboring state to the fiery pits of hell? Obviously, I thought about suing the physician but didn’t have the time or money. I am not very liquid at the moment.
So, I left and set out to conquer this challenge. This challenge would not conquer me. I kept replaying this diagnosis over and over in my head but figured there were some steps I needed to take if I wanted to get through this.
Step 1: Forgive myself and take the medication, as prescribed.
Step 2: A moment of vulnerability even Brené Brown would be proud of. Anyway, I told my colleagues that I could not participate in outdoor happy hour because I did not want to be musty.
Step 3: Per my husband’s instructions, to stop sniffing myself. Worse, to stop asking him to sniff my pits. Triple worse, to stop asking my one-year-old (who doesn’t know what sniffing is) to sniff my pits.
It’s almost a week and I have come this far to serve as a testimony. Sometimes, we as humans need to know we are not alone. I am not alone and you are not alone. Obviously, I am now a better person, better listener, and have even limited how often I roll my eyes. I hope you’ve learned something too.
Small print: It’s highly likely that my outbreak was triggered by stress and gluten. I have not learned my lesson. I will not change. I am a thug.